The Sorry Tale of Mark Anton

Thunder and lightning and torrential rain. Enter MARK ANTON, in his pyjamas.

MARK: Nor heaven nor earth have been at peace to-night: Many times hath the rumbling in my tummy awoken me. How is a man to get his rest ?

Enter a Servant

Servant : My lord?

MARK: Go order a pizza. Extra cheese. And fetch me my tomato juice. Pronto.

Servant : I will, my lord.

Exit Servant. Mark continues to pace. He occasionally looks at his watch.

The time approaches V o’clock.

Enter Mark’s wife, Anna Purnia. She is carrying Dilpo, her poodle.

ANNA : What meanst thou, Mark? Walking about at this hour of the night? You have slept not one wink this night, and worse, disturbed my beauty sleep.
Not to mention Dilpo’s too.

MARK : Mark shall do as we please: the things that threaten'd me
Ne'er look'd but on my back; when they shall see The face of Mark, they are vanished.

ANNA: Ithu ungalukkeh romba overa theriyalla ?

Ringing tone. Mark picks up the phone.

MARK (Speaking into phone): Who speaketh, interrupting Mark at this unearthly hour ?
(after a few moments of silence, puts down the phone)

MARK: Wrong number.

Re-enter Servant

MARK: What, whither the pizza? And the tomato juice ?

Servant : Sir, the pizza joint answers not. But your drink is here. And my Lord, please leaveth me in peace for the rest of the night.

Exit Servant

MARK : The gods do this in shame of cowardice:Mark should be a beast without a heart,If he should stay hungry because of the pizza joint, which answers not.
No, Mark shall not be cowed.
Anna, thou shalt forthwith make a pizza
To appease the rumblings of my tummy,
that have now become audible
To all and sundry

ANNA: Alas, my lord,“Your wish is my command.”
Appidinnu solluvennu ninaichingala ?
Go fly a kite.
Come on, Dilpo, lets go. Anna leaves with Dilpo in tow.

Mark looks at them go.

Mark sighs, picks up remote, and switches on the TV. He settles on the couch. His tummy continues to rumble.

Mark soliloquises:
To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler for the tummy to suffer
The slings and arrows of an outrageous servant,
And the insulting wife(And the dog too)
Or to take up arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing, end them?
The tummy -ache and the thousand sharp pangs
The pangs of hunger, the pizza guy’s treachery
The insolence of the wife, servant and dog
Thus life doth make cowards of us all;
Why don’t I just raid the fridge ?
(apologies to Bill)