da cook

A cook they hadde with them for the foodes
To boille the vendais with the urulais,
And poudre-chilly, puli and mancha podie.
Wel groundt coconot and paruppu, a touch of asafoetida.
He kooked and roastet, and broilled, and fryed,
Makin the most delishius meales.
But greet harm was it, as it thoughte me,
That on this great feaste we all engorged.
And developed the beestly sickenesses that forewer cursed us.

(apologies to G Chaucer)