Anne or Anna ***

A matter of grave importance, which has been troubling me no end. People being addressed as "Anne" and "Anna". The intention is noble. They mean “elder male sibling”. But from the way it is spelt, they could very well be addressing the English Princess. Or the tennis great? Tolstoy’s character? They could even be calling my best half (superlative intentional), by a shortened version of her rather lengthy name (the remaining parts meaning flower-queen!)

"Anna" is frequently heard in mushy dialogues in Tamil movies, portraying the cloying affection of elder brothers for their kid brothers and sisters. This term is common too among the Iyers of Forest Bridge (Forest Bridge being a rustic hollow in Kerala). The term Iyer often is taken to mean the bare-chested folks who mumble on our behalf to the Gods. But we are talking about the once illustrious and learned class of people, who are now sadly diluted and corrupted. Except for a few remaining ones, yours truly included.

But in the general scheme of things, locally we address elder males as "அண்ணே" which is written "Anneh". Not "Anne" or "Anna". Let us stop the corruption of our native terms. Lets call a spade a spayed.

Therefore, we resolve to henceforth use the term "Anneh" when written, and with a suitable affectionate drawl when spoken.

If we try hard enough, we can even justify this to be in line with the spirit of 1 Malaysia.

sमूठ ***

और यहाँ हम एक भारतीय ने एक और उपलब्धि है. हम अपने कॉलर एक बार फिर बदल सकते हैं.

भारतीय बिजनेस टाइकून मुकेश अंबानी दुनिया का पहला अरब डॉलर होम बनाया गया है. घर, Antilia निक के नाम है, मुंबई में बनाया गया है. यह 37,000 वर्ग फुट, पार्क से 160 वाहनों के लिए तीन छत और स्थान पर हेलिपैड के साथ 570 फुट ऊंची है. चार अंबानी परिवार वहाँ रह जाएगा. परिवार के घर भी एक हेल्थ क्लब है, एक व्यायामशाला और नृत्य स्टूडियो के साथ एक बल्ल्रूम , स्विमिंग पूल, एक चार मंजिला फांसी बगीचा और एक 50 सीटों वाले फिल्म थियेटर के साथ.

श्री अंबानी ने कथित तौर पर अमेरिका के बारे में 100 मिलियन डॉलर खर्च करने के लिए इसे बनाने, लेकिन मुंबई में संपत्ति मूल्यों के कारण, यह अब अमेरिका मूल्य 1 अरब डॉलर.

600 स्टाफ घर पर परिवार के शीर्ष फर्श पर ज्यादातर जगह से नीचे रहने वाले मेहमानों के लिए साथ काम करेंगे.

जय हिन्द!

Relief ***

Vasan had to scrape the bottom of the barrel. All of a sudden, his son had asked for the full fees to be paid up front. And Vasan had just bought the car for cash. Momentarily he was cash strapped. But his pay would come in soon. In a few days time. And everything will be ok.

And then the call came. “Anne, oru avasara othavi Anne.” Muthu was short of money to get the medication. For his epileptic son.

Vasan was troubled. Muthu had never asked for help before this. And here he was, with empty bank balances. What a situation to be in.

***
Soon, he had borrowed the $1000, which he gave to Muthu. “Ayya, God will surely bless you. I will repay my next Monday.”

***
It was 3 weeks since then. Muthu was not answering the calls. Vasan was troubled. But in his heart he knew Muthu would never cheat him. And then the excuses started coming.

“Saar, I had a bout of dizziness. I had to get admitted to the hospital. As soon as I get out, I will repay.”

“Saar, One of the cheques I was expecting did not come through. By next Monday surely I will repay.”

“I am sorry, I was so busy. Tomorrow surely I will bank in.”

Vasan couldn’t sleep. He kept thinking about his hard earned money which this Muthu seemed to have cheated him of. He tried not to think bad thoughts of Muthu. But they kept coming back. Was he a con man? Did he really have an epileptic son? Was it all a scam?

Vasan kept thinking about how easily he had been conned. Every morning he would call Muthu. Often the call would go unanswered. If Muthu answered, he would give some excuse.

And then finally. A call from Muthu! “Saar, I already deposited saar. Romba sorry saar. Late ayiruchu.”

Vasan was relieved. He had got back his money. And Muthu was not a conman after all.

Indians Chining – 2 ***

And here we have another achievement by an Indian. We can turn up our collar once more.

Indian Business Tycoon Mukesh Ambani has built the World's First Billion Dollar Home. The house, nick-named Antilia, has been built in Mumbai. It is 37,000 sq feet, 570 feet high, with three helipads on the roof and space for 160 vehicles to park. Ambani’s family of four will live there. The family home also has a health club, with a gym and dance studio, along with a ballroom, swimming pool, a four-storey hanging garden and a 50 seater movie theater.

Mr. Ambani reportedly spent about US $100 million to build it, but due to the property values in Mumbai, it is now worth US $1 billion.

600 staff will work at the home with the family living mostly on the top floors with space for guests underneath.

JAI HIND!

Enthiran ***

Watching a preview clip of Enthiran during its audio launch some months ago I vowed this was one movie I was going to give a miss.

But the hype was too strong. And the nagging too intense.

There was a glimmer of hope - the theatre was dark as we went in. A power failure! But the theatre management fired up the standby generator – to keep the air conditioning going. The hall was almost full. There was a half hour delay. But everyone sat quietly. Most were frozen in the sub-zero temperatures.

We sat quite near the screen. So the frantic action and the huge images cowed us. We felt like Lilliputians.

The ridiculous antics of the “Superstar” was taken to new heights. Everyone is caught up in the mob frenzy. Even a New York film critic was not spared. He described Rajinikanth as a cross between a tiger , a tornado and an earthquake. Go figure.

Of course the mystery is how a balding, 61 year old man with a paunch, sporting styles from the eighties is able to capture people’s imagination. Many people have trouble separating his movie roles from his real life existence – Rajini is an exemplary human being. If only he will stop acting in movies.

Then there are Rajini jokes: "Rajinikanth was bitten by a cobra. After four days of intense suffering, the snake died."

And his famous quotes, which coming from anyone else would be laughable: "When I will arrive, or how I will arrive, nobody will know, but I will arrive when I ought to," he snarls, confusingly. Or, "I will do what I say. I will also do what I don't say." Many of his movies are named after his character, and every single one of them starts with a musical number in which he introduces himself in the most insane way possible.

Enthiran is the most expensive Indian movie of all time. A massive investment the producers fully expect to recoup. So the hype. I contributed RM 28.

And Aishwarya – of course she is beautiful. But she’s so overbearing and disconcerting. Unsuitable for a Tamil film. And her unnatural coloured eyes makes her look so alien.

And towards the end, the screen teemed with so many clones of Rajini – I could hardly breathe.

The high point of the evening was the unexpected appearance of the dragon, with bandaged feet. Bitten by rabid shoes.

One liners ***

• Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
• If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
• War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
• Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
• To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
• A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
• A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
• You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
• Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
• A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
• Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.
• Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
• I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
• When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
• Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
• Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
• I say no to alcohol, it just doesn't listen.
• A friend in need is a pest indeed.
• Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.
• Work is fine if it doesn't take too much of your time.
• When everything comes your way, you're probably in the wrong lane.
• The light at the end of the tunnel may be an incoming train..
• Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.
• Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first.
• Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
• If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on your pants.
• The trouble with being punctual is that no one is there to appreciate it.
• It's not the fall that kills you. It's the sudden stop at the end.
• The cigarette does the smoking, you are just the sucker.
• Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.