Dawn *****

Sunthara Mudaliar, Pannaiyar of Vedalampatti. Highly respected for his generous philanthropy, he was a major benefactor for the religious and social amenities in the village. He had a son, Ramasamy, born 32 years after Mudaliar’s marriage to Kurinchimalar. A miracle baby. Mudaliar considered Ramasamy a gift from Lord Rama, his personal God. Mudaliar conducted elaborate daily poojas for Lord Rama, and the village had a Rama Temple besides the mandatory Mariamman Temple. Kurinchimalar was no less enthusiastic in the rituals that her husband indulged in. The rest of the household, consisting of Mudaliar’s extended family – siblings and in-laws, living under the huge roof of the பண்ணை வீடு , (farm house) participated actively too.
***
Ramasamy, an adorable child, was cherished and celebrated by one and all. As he grew up, Mudaliar introduced him to the various poojas and rituals for Lord Rama. Mudaliar’s dream was for Ramasamy to inherit everything – one day. And continue the worship and rituals for Lord Rama after him.

Ramasamy was a dutiful child. He obliged by participating in every one of his father’s prayers and rituals. Although he often found it tiring and meaningless. Ramasamy considered it an unpleasant chore. He just had to go though it for his father’s pleasure.

One day, 30 years later

The frail figure stood on stage, the white flowing beard his most conspicuous feature. Around him were his men, all in black shirts. “'கடவுள் இல்லை . கடவுளை நன்புகிரவன் முட்டாள் . கடவுளை வணங்குபவன் காட்டுமிராண்டி,” (There is no God. One who believes in God is a fool. One who worships God is a barbarian.) he boomed. “அய்யா பெரியார் வாழ்க ..” (Hail our leader, Periyar), the crowd cheered. Periyar went on to speak about பகுத்தறிவு , (secular philosophy) and the pagan beliefs which were holding back the people. He preached a refreshing new ideology. Ramasamy felt a strange euphoria. Instinctively he knew this was the philosophy he had been seeking.

He came home, and declared to his wife , 'கடவுள் இல்லை . கடவுளை நன்புகிரவன் முட்டாள் . கடவுளை வணங்குபவன் காட்டுமிராண்டி .'

Vaidehi was initially taken aback by this abrupt declaration by her husband. But she dismissed it as yet another passing tendency. But Ramasamy persevered. He was thankful to his parents, but only for his name. This great man, EV Ramasamy Naicker was his namesake. He donned black, and started growing his beard. The pious Vaidehi had always felt quite alone in her prayers and other rituals. But now, there was active resistance. Her husband was behaving so weirdly ever since that fateful day.

Ramasamy the atheist

Gradually the accumulated family riches began bankrolling EVR’s movement. As the money diminished, the extended family dissolved away, and soon, the black clad cadres went away too. But Ramasamy was steadfast. "கடவுள் இல்லை . கடவுளை நன்புகிரவன் முட்டாள் . கடவுளை வணங்குபவன் காட்டுமிராண்டி " he declared.

***

Ramasamy looked at himself in the cracked mirror. He stroked his scraggly beard; then he adjusted the round lensed glasses. Ramasamy saw EVR in the mirror. Vaidehi came in, and seeing Ramasamy, she sighed. They lived alone in the dilapidated பண்ணை வீடு (farm house). A small plot of land was all that was left of the sprawling estate once lorded over by the Mudaliar clan. Ramasamy and Vaidehi were childless, after more than 20 years of married life. Ramasamy knew that his wife was dismayed by his behaviour. She longed for the company of family and friends. She pined for a child.

***

Ramasamy lay on his bed. As his wife snored softly, he himself found sleep elusive. He thought about his life. The days of plenty, when his parents and relatives, and all the villagers had been around. His father’s passing, followed soon after by his mother. The turning point in his life – when Periyar stamped his indelible black mark in his life. It had been all downhill from then. Curiously he recalled the Rama pooja his father used to do. Weariness eventually took hold. Ramasamy drifted into a fitful sleep.

***

Ramasamy was fully awake. But he could not open his eyes. His body refused to obey his will. He knew Vaidehi was just a couple of feet away… asleep, but he could not call her. He tried to move his limbs.. no use.. they just lay there, almost lifeless. Ramasamy was desperate. He strained his body. Now a greater fear took over.. he could not breath. His heart was slowing too… as if ready to stop. Everything was a chaotic blur. Was this death? Then suddenly, in front of him – crystal clear images.

Sunthara Mudaliar stood in front of him. He looked stern but sympathetic. His father beckoned to Ramasamy. He was about to begin the Rama Pooja. Ramasamy hesitated.

'கடவுள் இல்லை . கடவுளை நன்புகிரவன் முட்டாள் . கடவுளை வணங்குபவன் காட்டுமிராண்டி .' The words reverberated in his mind.

But something urged him to go with his father. He could move ! They sat together and did the prayers. At the end, Mudaliar turned to his son, “டேய் , ராமசாமி . ஏன்டா இப்படி அவஸ்த படறே ? உனக்கு வர வேண்டியது எல்லாமே வர முடியாம இருக்குடா . கடவுள் உனக்காக காத்துக்கிட்டு இருக்காரு ஆனா நீ தான் அவர நெருங்க விடறது இல்ல .” (Ramasamy, why are you suffering like this ? There is so much that God wants to give you, but He is unable to do so. He is waiting, but you are not letting him help you).

Ramasamy thought about that. Was his father – the respected Sunthara Mudaliar a “முட்டாள்” (fool) ? Was he a “காட்டுமிராண்டி (barbarian) ” ? His head throbbed.

Dawn

Ramasamy opened his eyes, and sat up. He vaguely remembered the terrifying nightmare. He removed the black shirt he was wearing, and held it at arm’s length for a moment. Then he stuffed it in the wastebasket. He went for his bath. As the cool water flowed over his body, Ramasamy chanted:

“Ramaya Rama Bhadraya…
Ramachandraya vedase…
Raghunathaya Nathaya..
Seethaya Pathaye Namaha.”
His heart was filled with hope and the world seemed brighter.