Punny ones

1. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
2. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
3. I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.
4. He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.
5. There was a sign on the lawn at a drug re-hab center that said 'Keep off the Grass'.
6. Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
7. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a nurse said 'No change yet'.
8. To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
9. A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.
10. There was once a cross-eyed teacher who couldn't control his pupils.
11. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing - but it let out a little whine.
12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
13. Some people's noses and feet are built backwards: their feet smell and their noses run.
14. Never lie to an x-ray technician. They can see right through you.
15. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.