Iyer Poem

Iyer Poem
IYER POEM..A time line of Iyer life


Age: years and months bb ( before birth! )
Parents and grandparents are lamenting….
For the grandson who’s late in coming…..
Many a prayer and venduthal and vows….
Hoping for my arrival before the cows !
And finally, I did, that August morning…
Leaving all and sundry happily rejoicing.


Age: 6 Months
All these mamas and maamis have come here...
For a grand welcome of their new born fellow Iyer...
And my parents will feed food to me with a ring...
And give me a name long enough for you to sing...
Koundinya Gothra Koduvayoor Chamukutty Narayana Markandan Dorai,
but most won’t bother, and will simply call me “dey” !

Age: 10 years
Topping my class is an inborn talent I possess
Teachers & relatives, whom I never fail to impress
Daily dosage of idli, dosai, sambar, rice and curd
Who on earth do you think will not turn into a nerd?

Age: 18 years
Disembarking the “Rajula” at Madras, into the squalor,
Looking for a college that would be my alma mater,
“You should become an Injinear,” everyone chorussed,
So what to do, Engineering it was, as everyone else wanted.

Age: 23 Yrs
For five years, a struggle to keep afloat..
Against the hordes innumerable who gloat,
“we are the cream of India”, while partaking arrack & tea.
At last, yipeee... I completed my BTech in IIT...
These five years, they were the best time of my life,
I reminisced as I sailed back home to a new life ...

Age: 24 Years
(Single status in Malaysia)
It has been one long year since I have come here...
Time to start a family, before its too late...
Will leave for Madras on a 30 day leave...
And come back with a maami right up my sleeve...

Age: 30 Years
(Now married, struggling with samsaar)
I have two kids, but there is a gripping fear...
Both of them have no signs of being an Iyer...
Narayanan & Vasudevan we named them fondly...
But Jai & Viju I call them if I want them to even reply...
But so what if they didn’t become Iyers,
They would, in fact become Injinears…

Age: 60 Years
(sudah retire )
I am in Palakkad, with my ever faithful wife...
But my kids stayed there and think we don't have a life...
Tirupati, Guruvayoor, Shabarimala all we've been to...
Sun TV is our faithful friend which we always turn to...
The overgrown garden is my dream farm in the making
As I sit on the massage chair all day, munching the kacang, thinking,
“Are we going to be the last of the brilliant Iyer generation?”
To our children, tradition and culture seem only a botheration!
But then, they have values, which naturally are more valuable..
So all is not lost, because with values, life is salvageable.

Plagiarised & adapted with apologies from “A Tamil Brahmin Iyer”

The Call

Manoj fidgetted as he watched the phone. He prayed hard slilently. “God, please, please, please. Let her say yes. I will do anything. I will break 3 coconuts”. He tried to recall the Ganesha mantra he had learnt at Bal Vikas. “Vaikunda mahagaya, nirviknam samapriya…. “. No. That wasn’t it. He wondered if Ganesha might be upset that he had said it wrong. And place an obstacle in his way ? “Sorry Ganesha, I promise I will learn to say it right. Please, please, please, help me this one time”.

The phone rang, jolting him out of his thoughts. He grabbed at it clumsily, causing it to fall. He cursed under his breath as he picked it up; but the connection was lost. He put it down wearily, and fidgetted again. Waiting for it to ring again. Surely she will call again. He waited for what seemed like hours. Maybe she thought I cut the call ? Maybe she is upset ? And then it rang again.

“Hello, yes, Vidya ?”

“Allo, Auntie irukkangala, Saroja pesaren..”

“Illa,” he slammed it down. Idiotic woman. Eppa ethapatthi pesarathunnu theriyama…
Then the phone rang again.
“Hello,” he was more cautious.
“Hello, Manoj?” It was Vidya!
“Yes, yes, yes, tell me, ok or not ?”
“Ok.”
“Yes, yes, yes, yes, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, my dream has come true…. ,” in the excitement Ganesha was forgotten.
“It’s the midnite show, 4 tickets, box class.”
“Thank you Vidya, I will never forget your help for the rest of my life.”

Olde Soloman

MA: Who goest there ? Show thyself.

Solomon: It is but me, Solomon of ye olde towne of Londonderry.

MA: Thou art here ? What is thine business ?

Solomon: I beseech thee. Do not reveal my presence.

MA: But I canst help that. I shall speakest the truth. Always.

Solomon: Thou durst refuse me ? Thou hath therefore crossed me, and for this thou shalt die.

MA: This shalt come to naught. Begone. Do not tarry, lest danger doth visit thee. Let that be thine honour

Solomon: I shalt go. But let not this be a victorious thought for thee. Thou shall pay. As your fathers of yore did. Farewell.

MA: Sari than, poyya. Vanthuttaru Salaman Papaya.

Four out of eight

Another bizzarre case in the paper yesterday. Twelve year old boy scolded 4 year old sister for stealing his sour plum (whatever that is). Then his twenty year old brother scolded the twelve year old boy. Then the 24 year old elder brother, feeling left out, came along, and stabbed the twenty year old to death.

But there were 8 siblings in all. The other 4 were well behaved.

Raman Thediya Seethai

An enjoyable movie. In spite of the wintry conditions at the cinema.

Cheran was once a mental case. But he is brutally frank about his past. And insists on relating it in his haunting stammer to his prospective brides. The twists in the story line are nice. Cheran’s good character shines through. Blind Pasupathy is another moral beacon. Although his blunt manner with his prospective in-laws was a little jarring. Finally Cheran gets to marry the first girl as she sees his true character, when he helps the girl who ditched him on his wedding day.

There are few persistant villains in the movie, whch is refreshing. The only baddies are a few guys on motorbikes who crash into a little girl, and tamely get a thrashing from blind Pasupathy. Another candidate is the evil scrap metal dealer who deals in stolen motorbikes.

Not much humour, except he part where the guy carries the gift-wrapped grinder up the stairs.

But I ask myself, would I let my daughter marry an ex mental case ? Doubtful.

But the movie was worth the lost sleep.

Ah Seong's quest

The vast majority of the affluent citizens of PJ were snoring in their comfortable beds. The glass and steel structure of the commercial complex loomed majestically against the gloomy sky amidst the early morning drizzle. Ah Seong rolled over again, drawing the thin sheet of cloth over himself. He shuddered, lying on the cold floor in front of the building. The mosquito sang in his ear again. He slapped it against his ear, and opened his eyes wearily. Dark heaps were all around him. People huddled all along the walkway. Some were asleep, in spite of the cold, and the mosquitoes, and the hard floor, snoring and adding to Ah Seong’s woes. He looked at the clock tower outside. It was 2 am.

Ah Seong awoke with a start. It was day and the sun was shining. There was a commotion going on nearby. Suddenly he remembered. He scrambled up and ran over to the crowd. He elbowed and pushed through until he was close to the door. The stink of the unwashed was unbearable. But he had to be among the first few. It would be worth it. He smiled to himself as he thought of the gleaming PS3.

Managing the managers

Archibald : "Listen Clem, we will try to accommodate your concerns. Read my lips, we are going to have to build in accountability"
Clement : "But these guys, they are using ambush marketing. But while waiting, can we put a band aid on the problem ?"
Mark : "Ok, I will get that."
Archibald : "The benign report is not a problem, but this idea, well, can we bounce it off someone today ? And lets stop these reports before they grow into a brush fire."
Clement: "Arch, you make a very compelling case, although we do need a competitive analysis before we begin. I am sure that will create value for our customers"
Somanathan : "It's within the bounds of our corporate culture, and we will deal with that when the time comes. Please give me the mandate. I must leverage on our strengths. We need a paradigm shift here"
Archibald: "That's true from your perspective, but we really need to put a spin on that. To make us look good"
Mark: "Here it is. Where do you want me to put it ? And what spin?"
Somanathan: "We have a situation here. For sure."
Archibald : "Looks like we're on a 3 way street here."
Clement : "Hey guys, get back to the table. Park that offline for a moment. Lets take a blue-sky approach. What are you expecting by close of play?"
Somanathan "I say we get the low hanging fruits. Do you really want to boil the ocean to get a pinch of salt ?"
Archibald : "Listen Soma, Clem, I really don't know what we are talking about here."
Somanathan: "You too ? I thought I was going bonkers."
Clement: "Mark, on second thoughts, get the band aid. I think it goes across our mouths."