Family Breakfast

Chong sat back in the chair, his face buried in the newspaper. It wasn’t that there was anything in it that particularly absorbed his attention. He did it idly. He just wanted a respite from the view in front of him.

Shusan sat opposite him. She had finished her thosai. She sat staring at the empty banana leaf on the table in front of her. The place was noisy, with crowds of people having their thosais and rotis canais while in animated conversation. Shusan looked ruffled. She always looked that way. Her face was often frozen in a scowl. She looked up and seeing her husband behind the paper irritated her even more.

“Listen, how long are you going to read that paper?” her voice was loud enough to make those at the next table turn to look at them.

Chong put down the paper and folded it. He got up.

“And where are you going now?” Shushan snapped.

“I’ll go settle the bill.”

Shushan looked at Liza, sitting next to her, nibbling at bits of the roti canai, while she dreamily played a game on her phone.

“You are taking ages to eat that roti! Come on. Put the phone away. Finish the roti. It’s just a small piece and you are taking forever.” Shushan thought her voice was a low whisper, but it had practically half the people in the restaurant looking at Liza.

“It may be a small piece for you, but its big for me.” Liza answered defiantly.

“Shut up and eat. Don’t answer back at me.”

“Mom, its still early…” Tom started.

Shushan turned on him, “Now you shut your mouth. I know when it is early or late.”

She glowered at him for a while. Then she saw Chong walking back and looked up at him, ready to snap at him.

“Do you have change for a 100 ? The guy doesn’t have change.” Chong held the RM100 note.

“What’s wrong with you ? Don’t you use your brain? You mean you just brought the RM100 note, and no small change ? How idiotic.”

“Well give me some small notes.”

“I don’t have my purse with me. Go change the money somewhere else. Serves you right.”

Liza looked at Tom and rolled her eyes. She continued nibbling at the roti canai. Tom sipped the Milo.

Chong sauntered away.

Shushan sat muttering under her breath. 

The Visit

He looked at the people sitting around the table.

“Ada soalan lain ?”

There was some fidgeting and some murmurings. He knew there were many questions in their minds. It was several months since he had met them. But somehow they all seemed to sense the urgency running through his mind. An urgency to get this over with.

“Mr Mark, saya nak tanya……” Rosli looked intense as he explained his problem.

Mark felt a mild irritation. But he answered, explaining patiently.

“Ok, kalau taada soalan lain, kita berhenti sini la,” he quickly gathered his papers, not letting his eyes linger on anyone. He didn’t want any more delays. It was almost four.

***

“Harbour Place”

“Lima belas encik.”

It was daylight robbery, and Mark instinctively began to protest. But he was already opening the door, and the driver knew he had the upper hand. He just smiled.

Mark got in. He drummed his fingers against the seat, as the taxi crawled through the traffic.

***

He waited. Where would she come from? He looked past the laundry. Then at the doorway near the minimarket. And then at the guardhouse. And back towards the laundry. And there she was. Walking towards him. A dancers walk, feet floating lightly over the ground. She looked tired. But she looked happy. 

***

The apartment was neat and functional. A light breeze gave a cool feeling as Mark sank into the sofa. Medical books with gruesome pictures were lying about.

“I made something for you.” She danced over to the kitchen. She returned with a small bowl. She handed it to him.

“I made it myself. Special for you. Less sugar.”

Mark looked at the yellow goo. He felt inexplicably good. Was this what it would have felt like ? If he had a daughter of his own ?  Someone who would care for him, think about his likes and dislikes, and make things for him? He looked down at the contents of the bowl again. It looked inviting now. He took a spoonful. And looked up, to find her watching him expectantly.

“Delicious.” She looked pleased. She mumbled something about the yellow colour. But Mark was overwhelmed by her simple loving act of taking the trouble in making the kesari…. for him.

He looked up to see her with a mug of water. Even the water was delicious and refreshing!

Time flew. He knew he had to leave soon. But he savored every moment. They talked about her studies, about gemstones in teeth and everything else. And then at last it was time to leave.

***

“Oops, I left my book upstairs.”

“Ok, you wait here , I’ll go get it.”

“ No, Ill come along. You probably won’t know where I put it.”

Several more minutes in her company.

***

She got out of the car to say a final goodbye. And then she was gone.  

THE OUTING

Karuppan squatted by the roadside. He chewed the tobacco and gazed into the middle distance. The soft breeze ruffled his flowing hair. He was oblivious to the cars whizzing by, the occupants comfortably ensconced in their air-conditioned cocoons, some occasionally casting an indifferent glance at Karuppan. A few eyed him suspiciously. He looked like a foreigner, and everyone knew most of these foreigners were violent criminals. One had to be careful.

Karuppan was waiting for his friends, Maran and Ghani, and Ghani’s cousins, Ghulam and Kader. They had a day off from their jobs at the estate, and had come into town to while away the time, and maybe see a movie. There was a new Vijay movie in town. Karuppan waited patiently.

Soon he heard a muted honking. Karuppan looked up. A ramshackle van was trundling down the road towards where he was. He watched for a while. Then he stood, and sent a jet of red tobacco laden spittle splattering against the bushes. He walked briskly towards the van. As it came closer, Karuppan could recognize Maran in the driver’s seat. And beside him was Ghani. Maran honked repeatedly, smiling through his yellowed teeth. Ghani looked pleased to see him.

“Dey, come on, it’s getting late.” The van door slid open, and Karuppan crawled in. Ghulam and Kader were sitting at the back, with two other men Karuppan had never met.

“This is Mani. He has come down from JB. And this is his brother Gopal.”

Karuppan nodded.

The van jerked and grunted. It spewed black smoke as it labored its way uphill towards the main road.

As they approached the school, Maran could see the long lines of people inside. There were also groups of people milling around outside, talking loudly. The sun was sweltering hot, but the people around the school stood, sweating.

The van slowed as it reached the school, as Maran maneuvered through the people standing around on the road.

A violent jerk, and the van jumped, almost hitting some of bystanders. The engine died. As Maran frantically tried to revive it, some of the people started peering into the van. Ghani, Karupan, Ghulam, Kader, Mani and Gopal sat sweating, scrunched against each other in the tiny van.

“Bangla !” the cry went up.

Everyone was looking into the van now. The occupants of the van peered back, looking terrified.

“Hoi, apasal you orang datang sini, ha?”

“Bangla tipu !!”

“Undi hantu”

“Hoi, penipu”

The crowd was swirling around, shouting and yelling. Some were screaming obscenities. Maran tried to get out or the van. He tried to explain. But all his protestations were drowned by the crowd’s chaotic shouting. Some had pulled open the van doors. Maran, Ghani, Karuppan… all of them were dragged out. The crowd set upon them with helmets, sticks and bare fists, punching and kicking.

Seeing the commotion, more people ran over and joined the melee, bashing Karuppan and his friends mercilessly.

***

Maran sat against the tree. His face was bloodied. He could hardly move his left hand. Ghani and Karuppan squatted nearby, panting and unable to speak. Soon Mani and Gopal appeared, supporting Ghulam between them. They collapsed in a heap under the tree.

“Where’s Kader ?” Ghani looked anxious. Everyone scrambled to look back towards where the deadly attack had taken place. But Kader was nowhere to be seen. They looked at each other, the terror playing in their eyes.

***

Kader lay on the ground, his leg at an awkward angle. Blood ran from his nose and mouth in a tiny stream, snaking its way to the edge of the road. The crowd stood back. A policemen was feeling his pulse. He looked up at his superior and shook his head imperceptibly.

Kader’s wallet lay nearby, its contents scattered around. One piece of paper fluttered in the wind. The words “NATIONAL IDENTITY CARD, PEOPLES REPUBLIC OF BANGLADESH” were printed in fading bold letters, above a picture of a youngish looking Kader. 

The end is the beginning (or the beginning is the end)

Once upon a time, there was a country, where lived a little girl. She was alone. No one else. She decided that this was not good. But she decided to make herself the Queen of the whole country. She worked a teacher  in a regional university. She was new to the job. But there was no one to teach her. But it was ok, because she had no boss. And the University had no students. Or other teachers. It was just an empty place.

Then she decided to experiment with research. She was worried because she was a single woman without a partner or boyfriend or whatever. She at times felt like life as a professor would be better. So she decided to become a professor. It was very different from what she had been led to expect it would be when she was a teacher; she at times felt like the fact that she was a single woman marked her as invisible or different in ways that made people uncomfortable.

She decided to fix this. She would write books, to explore ideas related to these things, but she did not want it to be a diary. Rather, she constructed a voice that was brash, at times caustic, at times inappropriate. She did not want to perpetuate the weird language of promotion and tenure notebooks and letters of application. She wanted to talk not exactly as herself but nevertheless in a voice that was decidedly not her academic voice. She also wanted to keep her “real” identity secret. A pseudonym gave her, or so she thought, a certain measure of freedom.

A few weeks ago, she decided, after having considered the idea a number of times before, to end this experiment. Why abandon a professorship that has developed into something good? Why do this now?

Then for a long time she felt somewhat hemmed in by the space that she lived in. It was empty yet she felt crowded. Her pseudonym give her freedom, but at the same time limited her. The voice was always there. She had to be very careful about what she did. She was being watched.

What she’d achieved was the construction of a space, identity, and voice, that allowed for her to talk about personal life things but that ultimately stripped her of all authority (and of all ability to defend her positions) about the professional.

She felt this was quite unreal. It was not authentic research. Even her professorship was faulty. There was no specific intellectual life. She tried to get all these out of her head. But to fabricate and embroider in ways that are obfuscating: that was not her forte. She had to be careful in a space that she imagined first as a space in which she could escape the pressure to be careful that she feel in her academic writing.

And so, toward the end of last semester, along came a troll. And at first she was really freaked out. This person seemed malicious. She considered how to respond. In that consideration, she also reread a lot of what she had written over the past year-and-a-half – early entries that don’t seem like anything she would write today.

She also thought a lot about what she was trying to do with herself. She thought about going on as if nothing had happened, but didn’t feel comfortable with that. She thought about stopping everything altogether, and that felt like a really bad “letting the terrorists win” sort of thing.

And then it occurred to her: the only reason she was in this predict ent was because she was terrified of people knowing who she was. As much as she had dealt with her “real” identity being revealed to others, she had also been really afraid of the consequences of being a “real” person. And so, maybe the solution is to come out – to just be in the real world.

 

THE MONGOLOID

Mongoloid, Yes. That’s it. She looked Mongoloid. Why he thought of her, he himself could not fathom. Was it her voice? It had been the most commanding voice he had ever heard. Oh no. Could not be that. She hardly spoke. The others were chattering so much. Yet he remembered her.

It was the twilight time. Dusk. Everything looked a little dark and foreboding. The figures moved stealthily. The sounds were subdued. As though expecting something big to happen. The girl moved along the shadows. She had the rod in her right hand. The rod dragged along the earth path. A strange rattling sound. The sound grew louder as the girl moved further.

It had to be her. She knew it. A favorite concoction. Of course there were other considerations too. Purple flowers. The most exquisite flowers. But they were always purple. And in her hand, the wand. It was so long that she had difficulty balancing it in one hand. Occasionally she would spit at passersby. But she would not really spit. He mouth was always dry. No spittle. It was just a sound of spitting.

Cockroaches swarmed over the wall. Where did they all come from? As if by magic. They just appeared. And soon after, they would disappear just as mysteriously too. The crickets were chirping. The sound was ominous. Almost like a warning. Yes, the baying started next. And the howling. The stray cats began their cacophony. And then the mongoloid girl. She spoke. She commanded everyone to be quiet.

And there was quiet.

Life and Death

Vittal sat at the altar. He was deep in prayer. The room was hot and stuffy, but Vittal looked serene. He was oblivious to the buzzing mosquito. It was a good 30 minutes before he opened his eyes. He rose, his mind calm and collected. Everything was in its place. Everything was in order. His mind could even perceive the order in the chaotic room. Vittal moved to the kitchen.

Anusu was at the kitchen sink. She looked tired and sleepy. In fact she had just woken up after an 8 hour sleep. Yet she looked like she had not slept for days.

“Bloody water pressure..” she muttered as she tried to turn the tap further. She gave up after a while. As Vittal watched, she opened the kitchen cabinet, upsetting the whole pile of containers, which crashed to the floor at her feet.

“Damn.” She cursed. As she turned, she saw Vittal. Standing at the kitchen door. “And what is so funny? Why the hell are you smirking?” she raised her voice in real irritation.

Vittal just shook his head. “No, I m not smirking. You look tired. Bad night?” He walked over and picked up the containers, arranging them neatly on the kitchen top.

“No. I slept ok. But it was your snoring that probably disturbed me. Seriously, I should move to the other room. I really need the peace.”

“Come on Anusu. I don’t snore.”  But Anusu ignored him.

“Are you going to get the plumber to fix the water tank today at least? It’s been pouring down the back wall for weeks.”

“Oh? I didn’t know there was a problem.”

“WHAAT? I have been reminding you and reminding you… you are just impossible. You don’t care about the house or me or your family. It’s just you, you and you… Have you ever asked me whether I’m ok ? Whether I need anything? Have you bothered to think about me? Hah?” she ranted on and on.

“Anusu, I really don’t remember you telling me. But I will call the plumber. Will you be around today when he comes?”

“That’s it now! So I have to do this as well. Don’t I have any time for myself? I wanted to go out today and now, I have to stay in this prison, just because Mr. High and Mighty is calling the plumber.”

“OK, Anusu, I can ask him to come tomorrow?”

“No, I m not free tomorrow either. You handle him. I’m just not free. I don’t have the time. For a change take some responsibility.”

“OK, I’ll call him and come back from the office when he comes.”

“And I don’t want strangers left alone in the house when I’m not around. You make sure you are with them all the time. I have valuables around the house. And I don’t want anything missing.”

“OK. I’ll do that. Do we have any bread for breakfast?”

“ Go look for yourself.” Anusu walked away to her room, slamming the door shut.

***

The MPV shot out of the side road, swerved at high speed across the three lanes and entered the ramp, screeching to avoid the embankment wall. Vittal slammed on the brakes, missing the MPV by inches. Cars around him swerved to avoid each other, honking, the drivers cursing and swearing.

In a moment things were back to normal. Vittal continued driving. As he reached the office car park, he saw a long queue of cars at the barrier. There was something wrong and the barrier was not going up. There was a lot of honking and shouting, as the car park attendant scurried to get the barrier up. Many people had come out of the cars and were giving the poor man an earful. Vittal looked at his watch. Nearly nine. Ghosh was chairing the meeting at nine today. And he hated latecomers. Vittal knew he was going to be late. But he could do nothing. By the time the barrier got sorted out, it was nearly 9.20. Vittal drove to his reserved parking bay. And there was a car parked in it. Vittal sighed. He continued to drive down to basement 4 before he found a space.

He quickly parked and grabbing the briefcase, walked briskly to the lift. He waited a good 10 minutes, before concluding the lift was out of order. Vittal walked quickly up the 8 flights, reaching his office at 9.40. He walked into the meeting room, looking neat and calm.   

“Sauntering in at your own sweet time… Bloody irresponsible. I do so many things, yet I’m on time. You just take care of this one miserable section, yet you can’t make it on time for this meeting, where you are in charge. What the hell kind of person are you?”

“Sir, there was a problem…”

“I don’t want to hear your bloody excuses. You have to be more responsible. When you have an important meeting, can’t you start a little earlier ? You want me to wait for you? Who the hell do you think you are?”

The staff looked uncomfortable as Ghosh went on and on. Finally he stopped. Vittal sat down, and the meeting continued.

***

Vittal sat at his desk. The meeting had gone on until nearly 5. It was only after 5 that he had come into his office and cleared all the backlog work. He was working on his plan for next week’s presentation. And Ghosh had also asked him to clean up the McCall Proposal. Arvind had prepared it, but Ghosh was not satisfied. Vittal finished off the presentation plan and sent it off to Ghosh. Then he started on the McCall proposal. It was 8 by the time he had done with everything.

The phone rang. It was Anusu. She wanted to know when the plumber was coming. And when was Vittal coming home ? And can he buy some supper? And can he pick up her laundry on the way home.

***

Vittal came out of the shower, got into his shorts and lay down on his bed. It was nearly midnight. In a few seconds, he was in deep sleep.

***

Vittal was driving home. The plumber would be there in a few minutes. The lights turned green. As he started to move, the timber truck beside him shuddered to life. In a split second, there was an explosive sound as the cables snapped, releasing the huge timber log to crash down on Vittal's car.

***

Ghosh sat in Vittal’s living room. He was alone with Anusu. The accident had been extremely convenient. Some had whispered behind their backs. But over time, it all blew over. They got married. Anusu was soon GM in Ghosh’s company.

***

Anusu sat hunched on the bed. The room was a shambles. She herself was a haggard old woman. Just skin and bones. He skin was pale and dead. Her hair almost all gone. She sipped the porridge. After a few spoonfuls, she retched. She lay back. The pain was unbearable.

Ghosh had calmed down considerably. The high done medication was working. The spells of hysteria and anxiety were rare these days. But they were replaced by the depression. He had difficulty breathing. And eating. And sleeping. And standing up, or sitting down. Or even lying down. In fact everything was equally painful. He longed to die. He glanced at his wife. Just at that moment she opened her eyes and gazed at him blankly. But she had no energy to rant at him. And Ghosh was too weak to speak.

The Dream

Chandy sat back in his chair. His eyes were half closed as he gazed at the city skyline out of his office window. It had been a good day. After all the stressful events over the  past few weeks, success had come. And it had come big time. The CEO was excited at what Chandy had presented. It was a great breakthough. The CEO heaped praises on Chandy and his team. And this was no mean feat, considering the CEO was a man of few words. And in the midst of the euphoria had come the excited call from the doctor in Penang. It was excellent news. Everything was going right. This could be the time to tell her. He picked up his phone. He had to share this with Malini now.

The phone rang and rang. She didn’t pick it up. She’s probably having a nap, Chandy though, as he hung up.

***

It was nearly dark when he pulled into the driveway. The house was dark. He rang the doorbell, while opening the front door. What a lovely surprise it would be. She knew Malini would be happy. He  walked into the living room. Everything was dark, but he could hear the TV upstairs. He padded up the stairs. The living room was a mess, dirty clothes and shoes everywhere. Leftover food on the coffe table. And a bad odour emanating from the kitchen.  This was unusual!

“Malini! I need to talk to you,” he exclaimed, bubbling like a little boy.

“Shhhhh….. “ she waved him off, not taking her eyes off the mega-serial scene.

Chandy sank into the sofa beside her. He watched the scene for a few moments.

“Malini,” he began.

“Shhhhh…. Just go away ok? I’m watching this.”

Chandy gave up. He went in for his shower. The sight of the bathroom infuriated him. Wet clothes everywhere. Some stinking, obviously having soaked for days. But Chandy quietly cleaned it up. Then he showered, and by the time he dried up and changed into his comfortable shorts and t-shirt, he had cooled down. He walked into the TV room just as the serial was ending.

“It’s been a week since you came home. And now, you walk in late and won’t leave me in peace to watch my show ? So what is so urgent you have to interrupt me?” Malini raised her voice in irritation.

“Well, I was trying to call you from the office….” Chandy began.

“Ya, that’s what I want to know? What’s so life-and-death that you have to keep ringing home and disturbing me? Can’t it wait? You are such a nuisance.”

“Listen, Malini, I was just trying to talk to you…”

“You can talk to me anytime. So do you need to interrupt my show? Doesn’t what I’m doing matter at all?”

Chandy exploded. “Listen. I just don’t know what kind of woman you are. The house is a pig sty. The bathroom and kitchen stink to high heaven. And here you are sitting all day watching serials…”

“Listen, I’m not sitting all day ok? You are the one sitting in the air con office like a Lord, and you think you can walk in here and Lord it over me? Get lost.”

And the words got harsher and louder. Until Chandy just walked out of the house.

***

Chandy sat on the park bench. It was dark and lonely. The evening had started so well. Why is Malini behaving like this? Just when the good news should be a cause of cheer, she had to throw the tantrum. What did he do wrong?

It was almost midnight when he left the park, driving slowly home.

***

Malini lay on her bed. The pillow was wet from her tears. She was angry with herself for not confronting him earlier. Kamala had told her she had seen Chandy with a woman in Penang. But even otherwise, she should have suspected something amiss. Chandy was always travelling to Penang. “Business,” he would say. How could he do this ? She had sacrificed everything to come with him. And now he was picking on her for not answering his calls, and watching a TV show. And for God’s sake, does he think she is a slave ?

***

Malini sat upright. It was incredible. She was alone in the huge theatre. It was cold. She shuddered. But she couldn’t move from her seat. And then the lights dimmed. The screen came alive. The scene was blindingly sharp. Two people…. Walking in the distance. The camera zoomed in. It was Chandy… and a girl. It was Chandy and Christine. She recognized her immediately.

Malini looked at Christine. She was pale and wearing a headscarf. Instantly everything became clear to her.

***

Malini awoke early. She sat up. Chandy was not beside her. She hurried into the living room. Chandy lay in a heap on the sofa. The comforter lying on the floor nearby. She stood near him, looking down at him. What a childlike face. He had been caring for the terminally ill Christine. She stroked his head softly.  Chandy opened his eyes and looked up at her blankly. He watched as tears welled in her eyes.

“I know everything Chandy. I’m sorry. How could I have been so stupid. I am totally unworthy of you. Please will you forgive me?”

Chandy got up and pulled her down beside her, hugging her tightly.

“Shhh. Its ok. Malini. Its ok.”

“We have to go to Penang. I have to see her. I have been stupid for far too long. Please take me to see my sister.”